Still a Wannabe

I am so confused. About my feelings, about my wife's. She runs so hot and cold. Sometimes when we make love she starts with the fantasy of a second man joining us. First watching, then undressing, then fucking her. Fucking her sometimes right through my legs as I am already on top of her, fucking her with my little boy prick.

If I ever start the fantasy or try to embellish on it, she usually gets quite and the fantasy is over. We have been married for almost 25 years. During that time I believe that she has never had sex with anyone but me. I feel sorry for her. I understand that "size doesn't matter" but that is usually said by a woman who doesn't want to hurt their little dicked man's self esteem. Yes, I am an attentive lover: my fingers, my tongue, my tenacity. I was the first person to ever bring her to a second orgasm in a
row, let alone 3, 4 or 5. He only time sh ever coma on my cock is when I am holding it in
my hand and using it to stroke her clit, then cum on it, and, if I am really motivated, back with my tongue on her cummy clit. But I believe that if you are a woman, at some point, don't you say to yourself, "hey, don't I remember that a big cock pumping my pussy feels good?"

So I went to the local adult bookstore and bought a very nice dildo. An 8" cyberskin dildo with balls. I had him at the ready every time that we made love. It took 5 weeks. She brought a fantasy man into the room, I brought my friend "Dick" out to join us. She first asked where I bought him, then said that I must be desperate. She loves to have her breasts fucked ( yes, breasts, she doesn't like the word tits, so I never use it). Well I put some KY on my wife's cleavage and dick fucked her breasts (actually I think he would say tits--he's man enough to call them tits). She went back to blowing me (another favorite passtime of hers) while Dick fucked her tits. I brought him to her hand. She started to jack him off, vigorously. Then brought him to my cock, sucking me while rubbing Dick on my cock. Ultimately, he ended up rubbing his cockhead between her pussy lips and over her clit before trying to penetrate her. It was difficult enter her, so she helped him, sliding him deeply into her, deeper than I have been. After about a minute of fucking, she said that she would rather have me fucking her. Another 15 seconds and she said, can I please have you in me instead? So Dick left and I slid my cock between her pussy lips for 1/2 a minute or so and exploded in ogasm, spraying cum everywhere. Given her "desperate" comment, even though she was laying with her legs spread, my cum covering her pussy and she was making no effort to get up
to clean up, I decided against eating her creampie. Dick went away and we haven't spoken of him since.

What is going on in her head? Should I bring Dick out for more play time? I really want to be her complete submissive cuck, kept in chastity. I am just not brave enough to take the next step with those words, "you must be desperate" still ringing in my ears.
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